


Help Mr. Postman!

by awkwardhawk



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - No Hale Fire (Teen Wolf), Cute, Fluff, I Tried, M/M, Spiders, hopefully its cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:01:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26558593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awkwardhawk/pseuds/awkwardhawk
Summary: Stiles is just trying his best to adult, sometimes that is hard when faced with 8 legged creepy crawlies.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Comments: 12
Kudos: 156





	Help Mr. Postman!

**Author's Note:**

> So a friend sent me a picture of a note to a postman asking him to take care of a spider that was in a mailbox. I found the note hilarious and then I thought it was something Stiles would probably do. I don't know who the note writer is as it was signed "resident" but if anyone knows let me know and I'll credit them for their awesome note.

Stiles was happy with his life; he had a job teaching English at the high school and had recently moved out of his dad's house into his own place. Safe to say everything was going great, no complaints here! If anything, it was weird how everything was going too well. It had him waiting for the other shoe to drop.

The other shoe came in the form of a spider. It was a sunny Saturday, and Stiles was dancing and singing along to Taylor Swift as he went around his living room dusting. His dad would be coming over for dinner later, and the last thing Stiles needed was for his dad to find his place messy and gross. Nope, he intended to show he was a strong and independent adult who don't need no man. He knew how to adult! He smiled as the song ended, and he heard the sound of his washing machine finishing the cycle. See, responsible adult. As he loaded his clothes into the dryer, he went over what he still needed to do. He still had to unload the dishwasher and check the mail. After that, he was planning on grading some papers before cooking for his dad, eggplant parmesan, and a salad with lemon vinaigrette. Healthy food is a must, especially knowing his dad has probably been eating nothing but burgers and fries.

Stiles shook his head at the thought of his dad eating all kinds of junk now that he was out of the house. As he walked to his mailbox, he made a mental note to try and spruce up his yard. It didn't look bad, but he felt adding some succulents would make it look eco-friendlier. Also, he figured even he couldn't kill a succulent in California. Distracted by his future garden's thoughts, he almost overlooked the web and subsequent spider that had made his mailbox their new home. He let out a small yelp before looking around to see if anyone was taking a stroll nearby. He was not above asking a complete stranger to kill a spider for him. Taking in the empty street, he huffed and closed his mailbox before running back into his house.

"Scott, dude, I require your assistance! It is an animal emergency!" He squeaked out as he paced in his living room. Yes, he had just decided to call Scott and ask him to come and remove the spider in his mailbox, not that he would tell him it was a spider right now. "Is it urgent? Of course, its urgent, Scott, I wouldn't be calling you if it wasn't!"

Stiles smiled as Scott let him know he was on his way. So, it wasn't technically urgent, but the spider had seen him now, and who knows what it would decide to do, nope, it needed to be moved away. 

"Are you serious?" Scott glared at Stiles as they stood next to his mailbox, looking at the spider. "I left work in a hurry because I thought you had found a hurt animal, not because you wanted me to remove a spider!"

"It's an animal emergency! What if I, a non-veterinarian, decided it was okay for me to remove it on my own, and then it bit me, and I was poisoned?" Stiles tried to rationalize with Scott. He opened his eyes a little wider and attempted his best "Bambi look," as Allison called it. 

Scott rolled his eyes as he tried to stay mad at his best friend. "I'll remove it this once. For future reference, this is a garden spider. They're not harmful if you leave them alone. It probably just liked the darkness of your mailbox."

"You're not going to kill it?" Stiles asked as he watched Scott grab a small container to put the spider in.

"No, if we move it to the garden, it should be fine. It'll find a new place to make its home." Scott slowly moved the container towards the spider before coaxing it in and covering the container. He looked around for a good place, deeming a nearby tree a good spot for the spider.

Stiles took a step back as he watched Scott grab the spider and move it to a tree. He hoped the spider wouldn't come back; he was sure if he called Scott again for the spider removal, his best friend would remove him instead.

After Scott's heroic spider removal, Stiles got his mail and proceeded to get on with his day. He graded papers and then had a fun time cooking while singing along to some more pop music. His dad made a slight face when he saw the dinner Stiles had prepared but wisely said nothing. The rest of his weekend went well with Stiles finishing his lesson plan for the week and grading all of the accumulated work.

\-----

Monday passed on alright for it being a Monday. If anything, Stiles counted it as a good day since he could get a coffee cup before the machine broke down. He smiled as he parked his jeep and made his way over to the mailbox to get his mail only to freeze as 8 beady little eyes stared back at him. He let out a little meep before closing the mailbox back up. 

Calling Scott was out of the question. He supposed he could get his dad or something. Stiles grimaced as he remembered the last time he had called his dad to help him with an arachnid. His dad had decided to bring Deputy Parish, who had then gone on to tell the whole precinct that Stiles had called his dad to handle a daddy long leg. "I can't call my dad," Stiles whined as he moved away from the mailbox and walked towards his house.

After eating some take-out, Stiles decided the best course of action that involved the least amount of embarrassment was to ask the mailman to do it. Nodding to himself, Stiles pulled out a piece of paper and began writing the postman a note.

_Dear Mr. Postman,_

_Guardian of parcels, bringer of bills, I write to you on this day to make a simple request. If it is not too much trouble, living in my mailbox is a spider holding my mail hostage. If you could please remove it for me, either by relocation or brutal murder (I'd prefer this one), I would be grateful._

_Forever in your debt,_  
_Stiles_

He finished his note with a spider's drawing, and the caption "spider looks like this" with an arrow pointing at it.

Deciding that was the best he would do, Stiles grabbed some tape and walked down to his mailbox. He had seen the postman a few times on the weekends, and he wouldn't deny the man was HOT capital letters and all. Remembering how hot he was, he almost didn't tape the note to the mailbox, but really, he eventually would need his mail.

\-----  
Stiles checked his mailbox the next day and found the note and the spider gone. He smiled as he grabbed his mail and made his way into his house. As he checked his mail, he found a small piece of paper and opened it curiously.

_Dear Stiles,_

_Spider has been taken care of. However, as you are in my debt, I would like to ask you to pay it back by going to dinner with me._

_Sincerely,_  
_Derek aka Mr. Postman (123) 555-4567_

_PS: If this was too forward, I apologize._

Stiles grinned and quickly took out his phone to put in Derek's number under the name "Spider-Man."

\-----

Derek smiled down at his phone as he made his last delivery of the day. He had seen Stiles a few times before and always wanted to talk to him but had been too shy to approach the guy. The note had been so funny and endearing that Derek had decided he would help him out. After relocating the spider in a garden a few houses away from Stiles's home, he had felt bold enough to leave a note of his own. Now he was making plans with Stiles for dinner and a movie on Saturday.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for sticking it out with me, I tried to include the original note but failed at being able to, sorry. The original letter went as such: "Dear Mr. Postman, Beholder of parcels, bringer of utility bills. I write to you on this day to ask a simple task of you. Living on the right side of my mailbox is a spider, seemingly holding my mail hostage. If you could remove it for me, either by relocation or brutal murder, I would be forever in your debt. Signed, Resident. complete with spider drawing."


End file.
